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#thisonesforyou

May 18, 2012 Leave a comment

As you can see at first glance, this episode clearly could qualify as an #HTFTS. It is not. This is a guest episode. Who is it written by? You. The #hashheads have this one. What is your topic? #Hashtagfairytales…or whatever the hell you want (#excusemyfrench). Friends, I want you to tell me what to do now? As I’ve always said, I write to entertain you, I want to know what you want, but moreso I want to know what’s on your mind.

So, in the comment section tell me: #whatnext? Should I go fiction? Theology? Sports Entertainment? YouTube? Should I just focus on the already existing Cut Down Podcast (posted every Friday [#shamelessplug] available on iTunes)? What should I do? The internet is your oyster! Or just type “Wuss up.” Tell me what you’re thinking. This is an opinion piece…only the opinion isn’t mine. Because to all my readers, #thisonesforyou!

(I want you entertained. What do you want to see? And what do you want to talk about?)

#assessyourself

May 11, 2012 Leave a comment

I don’t normally do this, but in light of the Birthday of #Hashtagfairytales, I thought I could take this week as an opportunity to do something different. #Hashtagfairytales—like most other blogs—is about one thing: the self-aggrandization of the author. That is what this blog has been about. Me. An opportunity for me to showcase me and my thoughts; #hashheads will know, that this was never the goal, but that is nevertheless what it is.

There comes a time in everyone’s life where they must take a step back and look at who they are. You all must do it, you must #assessyourself. This is my time. I love to entertain and have been attempting to do so on this blog for one year. Am I saying that this is it? No, but it is definitely time for a re-assessment of #Hashtagfairytales, its purpose and its function.

No, frills, no thrills. Friends, it is time to take a look around and see what it is about #HTFT that is successful, and see what is simply not entertaining and then I must cut the fat. I don’t know what this means, but I cannot leave you out of the process. Over the next few weeks, I will be taking the time to reassess this blog. I don’t know what I will learn, but I’m kind of worried and excited.

This is about #Hashtagfairytales, because it shouldn’t be about me.

(I the spirit of it not being about me: Congratulations to the graduates of Patten University Class of 2012. #youdidit)

#happyfrigginburfday

366 days.

That is how much time has elapsed since the very first episode of #Hashtagfairytales.

Exactly 12 months.

It was this day one year ago that I asked myself the question: #youcallthatablog. May 9, 2011: the day #HTFT was born. You don’t have to believe me, it was on Wikipedia…of course that was before some jackwagon decided it wasn’t a “world event” and they decided to remove it (I guess you can’t just put anything on there).

Today is #Hashtagfairytales’ first birthday and there is no one I would like to share the first birthday with more than the #hashheads. Those who have been here through all of the ups and downs of #HTFT. As of this writing #Hashtagfairytales has had 4,623 views in it’s lifetime; my assumption is that at least 20 of those are me trying to figure out how this blog thing works, so lets say 4,600.

Now I am no #mathmagician (that’s what they are called right?) but 4,600 views over 366 days comes out to about 12.56 views per day. About 12 and a half people have graced this page every day for the entirety of its life. That doesn’t seem like a lot but let me give you a few statistics that were shared by blogging guru Jon Acuff:

According to statistics, there are 2.4 billion people online around the world.

There are an estimated 450 million blogs online.

If you divide the number of people online by the number of blogs online, each blog should have approximately 5.3 readers.

5.3? I have more than double that daily. It’s all about perspective.

Why did I create #Hashtagfairytales? Over the past year of writing and facilitating episodes I have learned the answer to that: I have a passion to entertain. It is this passion that drives me to want to be an announcer for the WWE (#keepcalmanddreamon); a goal that will be accomplished. At times I succed at entertaining and get 70+ views in a day, and other times I fail miserably (#beinghonest). But I love to entertain.

Do I want 100 views a day? Yeah, of course; what blogger doesn’t? But I am proud to tote my 12.5! #Hashtagfairytales may morph and change, but I am still me and I am still here to entertain. Ideas fail and episodes bomb, but #hashheads remain to the very end.

So to you #Hashtagfairytales, I say #happyfrigginburfday.

And to you Jacob C. Howard circa May 9, 2011 I answer your question: #youcallthatablog?

No, I call that #Hashtagfairytales.

(#Boomshakalaka)

#pickupabook

May 4, 2012 4 comments

With Mothers day coming up this month, it has recently occurred to me: there are few things as invaluable as a mother’s love…and of course by invaluable, I mean valuable. You know, the English language is so difficult (that “mothers love” crap can wait). I work with a lot of people who speak English as a second language and this week I tried to teach a native Spanish-speaker how to pronounce the word “bag.” Sure, easy word for us native English speakers, but in Spanish—I have come to learn—there is no short a sound; her “bag” usually ended up as “bog.” I’m just saying; English is frustrating.

Any old way, back to the invaluableness of a mother’s love. Many people are difficult to love; we all have our quirks and…you know what forget it, I can’t do this. Do you want to know what is truly valuable? Mastery of the English language. But how many of us take it for granted? How many of us when typing a tweet do not bother to differentiate between “your” and “you’re?”Allow me to be honest #hashheads, one thing that frustrates me is a wreck less disregard for the English language. Is that to say that I always have perfect grammar, spelling, and punctuation? No, but rest assured you will never get a text or tweet from me that says,

“Dis week is kilin me more than u no. i cud use a vaca. and its only monday smh”

As a matter of fact, it took me 20 minutes to butcher that sentence; I’m just not cut out for that kind of stuff! Don’t get me wrong, I am no Ted Mosby (#HIMYM), but I’d like to think of myself as at least a cadet on the #grammarpolice force . People who hang out with me—or are my friends on #thefacebooks—will know that I am one to…”assist” with grammar, spelling, and all around book-learnin’. I cannot lie, I used to read the dictionary and Encyclopedia for recreation, (some read that and hear, “I’m brilliant;” others hear, “I’m a loser.” Both are at least partially correct) sure, I know off the top of my head how many US presidents were named James. But I’m not asking the same from everyone; I know that English and grammar aren’t everyone’s forte per se; I know that the Latin and Greek origins of our Germanic language can throw many for a loop. I just ask that we all try to #pickupabook!

Go ahead, end a sentence in a preposition if you can’t get yourself out of the pinch you are in. (That sentence wasn’t funny, but the #grammargeeks can see the ironic punch line) I don’t mind a mistake here and there, but let me tell you, if that tweet that you call a deep philosophical truth is riddled with spelling errors, Fred Nietzsche you are not. If your theological revelations/status updates need to be read 17 times in order for the reader to formulate a sensible sentence, then give up your dreams of being a G.K. Chesterton, C.S. Lewis, or John Piper (you, still have a chance to be Mark Driscoll though).

Is this in part a scathing warning to our school system? I suppose so. But more so, this goes out to the adults who don’t read Hunger Games because “it’s stupid;” the adults who haven’t picked up a book recreationally because books are too long and boring. Are you one of those people? Here’s how you can tell: Are you reading this? Then you probably aren’t one of those people. The same people who won’t #pickupabook, will likely not read this blog, which is why I can be mean to them! It’s perfectly fine to write mean things about people who don’t read; they’ll never see it. It’s like speaking ill of a deaf person (#toofar?).

Friends, my point is this: strive for perfect grammar; sound out those words that are difficult to spell; remember the lessons you learned in third grade phonics. It isn’t difficult. Above all, May the fourth be with you! (#wordplay)

(The answer by the way is 6: Madison, Munroe, Polk, Buchanan, Garfield, Carter #presidentialfacts).