#fathersdaywinning

Alright my friends, as you all know, Sunday, June 19^th is Fathers day and that special man will be requesting a few small things from you: your love, respect, and most importantly, extravagant gifts. Now, I am no father—and I didn’t need Maury to prove that—but I thought I’d help you out with a few “no-no’s” for this Fathers Day.

A popular thing to do is compare good old Pa to a great man who has accomplished a great many things. What father wouldn’t want to be compared to famous #hashheads like Clint Eastwood, Johnny Cash, Dirk Nowitzki, or Marty McFly?! But there are a few guys you don’t want to include in your ode to dear old dad. This week on #Hashtagfairytales are the Top Ten men not to compare your father to:

10. Newt Gingrich: Not only is he a former success, everyone who matters left him; it’ll make dad paranoid.

9. Jack Kevorkian: I know his jokes may be so bad you feel like you want to keel over, but it’s just not nice.

8. Harold Camping: Dad may have made some bad “judgment calls,” but there’s a better way to tell him.

7. John Edwards: Even if your father HAS misappropriated campaign funds, and broken federal laws, who hasn’t? Let it slide for once guys.

6. Rosie O’Donnell: I am told she is not a man, but just to be safe, I thought I would include him on the list.

5. Arnold Schwarzenegger: I am sure no dad wants to be compared to Arnold, even Arnold as a dad hopes not to be compared to that guy!

4. Justin Beiber: Now, I am a member of #TeamBeiber, but I’m sure your dad isn’t going for that prepubescent look or feel. Sorry #Beliebers!

3. Charlie Sheen: Your dad will be happy on Sunday, he’ll be #fathersdaywinning, but be sure not to push him over the edge and make him talk about #tigerblood, #vaticanassassin, #foolsandtrolls, #changeyourbrain, #fightwithwarlock, #adonisDNA, #topgunradical, #gnarlygnarlingtons…not a good look!

2. Anthony Weiner: You don’t want to compare dad to this former New York Congressman; no one wants to come up short in a Weiner comparison test!

1. Lebron James: Maybe dad’s not a clutch player either, but if he married your mom, at least he has a ring!

(Let’s hear from the #hashheads: Who are some men you think would be a good or bad comparison?)