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#goodbye

July 27, 2012 Leave a comment

You didn’t think I would leave without saying #goodbye did you? After all of the time that the #hashheads gave to this blog, I could not dream of leaving things undone. Allow this episode to stand as a series finale of sorts; not like a “House M.D.” or “Seinfeld” series finale, more like a “Harry’s Law” or “Kings” series finale (I mean #Hashtagfairytales is #epic, but it isn’t #EPIC). So my friends, allow me to make a declaration of sorts: When in the course of online events, it becomes necessary for a person to dissolve the creative bands that have connected them to a website. A decent respect to the opinions of any fans or readers that the site has gained requires that they should declare the causes which compel them to this separation.

I hold this truth to be self evident: #Hashtagfairytales has been a hell of a good time for me! I hope that it has been for you as well. But it has run its course. It is time to move on. Does that mean that the domain is leaving? No. http://hashtagfairytales.com will remain alive and well (#cheapplug). This site will remain as I am very proud of the ride that we had. The guest posts, the fun comments, the responses to the #PolloftheWeek; I would be amiss to forsake them. I will leave them to memorialize the joy, the intellect, and the suffering that was had in these pages. #Hashtagfairytales has had the opportunity to react to a few timeless or historic events.

The inception being in the wake of the death of Osama bin Laden, #HTFT has had the solemn duty of reacting to events like the passing of several individuals (Randy Savage, Whitney Huston, and Dick Clark to name a few), and tragedies such as the Norway shooting, but it has also had the pleasure of celebrating holidays (Thanksgiving [#gracias], Christmas [#istayinnarnia] and of course the premier of @CutDownPodcast), and introducing items of pop culture (#obscurereference). We experienced together the rise and fall of #TheAdministration (let me save you some time, it was a sham like Mili Vanilli’s singing voice; it was as fake as the Easter bunny or Iowa).  I guess the #bottomline is: I’ve had a good time.

You might ask: Ok then, Why? Why is this #goodbye? Why not #seeyalater? Because my friends, it is time. Everything has it’s time and everything must die. This project that is #Hashtagfairytales has run its course; it lasted longer than a Kardashian marriage (I’m looking at you Kim), but not quite as long as a Kardashian marriage (Kudos to you Khloé). Does that mean that the #hashtag is dead? No, it is still alive, although if it doesn’t watch it’s back the meme will soon take over. I simply mean that this project, this platform, this blog is done. The purpose of this whole thing was to give me a platform. Once again, it is no secret that my goal, my dream, my “rock star job” would be to be an announcer for the WWE, but I ask you, is #Hashtagfairytales going to get me there? It is tough to come to the conclusion that it isn’t.  Did it even extend my name further than my existing circles? It is difficult to face the fact that it hardly did.

One of the hardest things for a man to do is admit that he is wrong, so I face that difficulty and publish it online.

I was wrong.

Drink that in, everyone with whom I have ever had a conversation; it may not happen again.

I was wrong.

Dang, I was wrong, it DID happen again…

And again.

But you get the point. The internet is full of people projecting themselves and creating platforms, how many of them will admit they are wrong? How many will admit that they are barking up the wrong tree?

Let me clarify, I do not regret #HTFT, I simply recognize it as a project that didn’t accomplish my goal. But believe it was a great time and I had so much fun writing it. I cherish each of the readers I have had. Each reader who took their time to invest in me has a special place in my heart. I don’t just say that, I mean it. On top of that, #HTFT truly honed my skill of creative writing. Through this blog I have been able to find my writing voice, but by and large this project is in fact done.

Allow me to quote an author for whom I have the utmost respect, Jesse Rice, author of “The Church of Facebook.” In his last blog for THE CHURCH OF FACEBOOK (I’m not yelling, he just likes all caps), he said this:

“Sometimes you just need to admit you’ve failed and start over. I pretty much failed as The Church of Facebook blogger and that’s okay. I have other gifts. Namely, house plant maintenance. I was inconsistent, my branding was all over the place (as were my topics), and did not have any clear goals in mind. I sincerely apologize to my faithful subscribers who took a chance pressing the ‘submit’ button and didn’t get much in return. But admitting failure clears the road for a new beginning.”

I cannot say that I am gifted in the art of ensuring the survival and prosperity for the common ficus as Mr. Rice may well be, but I can say that I agree with his statement.  I must admit #hashheads, #HTFT was all over the place, in a bit of a quirky way, but a blog needs direct guidance. Upon his first visit to this blog, Graphic designer Nate Davis said this to me, “So. When you said ‘hashtagfairytales,’ I thought you were either going to make up stories in 140 characters, or based on hashtags that you noticed on Twitter.” That would have been a good call Mr. D, but that #Hashtagfairytales was not. But rest assured that Jacob C. Howard is not gone, you will see him again in an online capacity (possibly sooner than you think).

#Hashtagfairytales is and was a medium of entertainment. It may not be streamlined or organized in such a way as to amplify my name, but if this blog has entertained and/or taught any one person. I say, #missionaccomplished. Thank you to everyone who has dropped by. I appreciate it. I will miss #Hashtagfairytales, but I bid you all adieu, and I say with all love and respect possible; with a heart of joy for time well spent: #goodbye.

(“Insert smart ass author comment here”)

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#stateofthehashtag

As head of the creative direction and a representative of The Administration of #Hashtagfairytales, I have the pleasure of saying this on behalf of The Administration: #Hashtagfairytales is in the place, and of the quality that it should be “Freshly Pressed” by the blogging site WordPress. Jacob C. Howard has been at the helm of the proverbial #HTFT ship to this point but has recently been suspended for grammatical misconduct; I say with or without him you as the reader are in a good place and #Hashtagfairytales is not going anywhere. Generally speaking we The Administration are in full support of Mr. Howard but some things must be acted upon. In his absence it seems best to us to deliver to the public—the #hashheads as you have been called—an address to clearly divulge the direction of #Hashtagfairytales. So without adieu, I give you the #stateofthehashtag.

Why is this blog here? The mission thereof is as follows: “…To consistently provide honest (often humorous; sometimes risky) high quality episodes with respect, love, sensitivity, and appreciation for the issues and most importantly the readers who choose to invest in the blog via their time; #HTFT belongs to them.” This mission is stated on the #AboutHashtagfairytales page. This blog is here to provide quality humorous content to people who may be looking for it. We are into being funny. Even in serious episodes, we are committed to humor. For instance: Why are there gates around cemeteries? You give up? Because people are dying to get in. Funny right? I also know a naughty limerick or two.

The heart of this blog is Jacob C. Howard; let us not villianize him. While planning this blog Jacob wanted to provide ten things. Each episode, guest post, #HTFTS, #PolloftheWeek, tweet, and status update posted on behalf of #Hashtagfairytales is crafted with these ten things in mind: consistency, quality, humor, investor (reader) appreciation, respect, honesty, sensitivity, humor, love, and risk. With each post Jacob—along with The Administration—continuously question how each piece of content delivers all ten of these things. Often, we knock it out of the park like the 2010 San Francisco Giants, other times, we hit a foul ball like the Oakland A’s (#ihellaloveoakland). There are days that #HTFT gets 60+ views, others that it gets 2, more where it gets 14, and a handful that it gets 0. These days contribute to the artistic direction equally. Because of the days that there are zero views each single view matters so very much. They matter to Jacob C. Howard and they matter to The Administration.

I said that the heart of this blog is Jacob C. Howard, but I also say that this blog is the heart of Jacob C. Howard. Do you want to know the thing that really gets Jacob’s blood flowing, the thing that gets him up in the morning, the very thing that pushes him to write? It is his cardio-pulmonary system and taking care of it is important…but also he really likes to write this blog. The creative direction is important and it may sustain a few changes in the coming months, but my friends, it will endure. Let this stand as an announcement directly from The Administration of #Hashtagfairytales: WordPress, you are being placed on notice; this blog is sustainable and it has a heart that will not quit. The #stateofthehashtag is strong, it is faithful, and it is unshakable.

God bless this blog, and God bless every nation on His green earth!

(I understand it is the custom to write an “afterglow” comment or question of sorts: Do you support The Administration of #Hashtagfairytales?)

#HTFTS- Let’s talk about…

October 25, 2011 Leave a comment

I almost started out this short by pandering—nay groveling—to the #hashheads! I was going to talk about how great you guys are and how much I love you and all that kinda crap. I mean, don’t get me wrong, I do love y’all and I really appreciate every single view, but I think it’s a bit dishonest to flatter you right before I ask for something. That’s right my little ones, I am going to ask you for something; but in typical Jacob C. Howard fashion, I have a small anecdote first.

#Hashtagfairytales is a place for you! I’ve said it before, but I’m not sure you all know how much I mean it. This blog is not mine; it’s yours. It’s as good as you allow it to be. Now, I say this not to shift blame if #HTFT starts getting sucky or boring, as a matter of fact this is a really sweet deal for you: If things are good here, it is your blog that you helped build, but if I do not post one week or if I fail to hold up my end, it’s completely my fault! Cool right? Now, having said that #HTFT is for you, I ask for one thing: #Engagement. I want your feedback. I want this to be a forum. Blogs have this stigma of being for or about the blogger and his/her ideas, but I hate that; I want your ideas here. You like a post? Tell me about it. You hate a post? Rip me to shreds in the comments section. You think I am a pretentious pompous poser? Don’t run away; say something—also, good use of alliteration. Comment on the posts (mine or guest posts); Take the #PolloftheWeek! I want to be better; I want #Hashtagfairytales to be better, and for that, I need your input!

Let’s talk about…anything.

(…and I mean anything!)

#fathersdaywinning

June 17, 2011 3 comments

Alright my friends, as you all know, Sunday, June 19th is Fathers day and that special man will be requesting a few small things from you: your love, respect, and most importantly, extravagant gifts. Now, I am no father—and I didn’t need Maury to prove that—but I thought I’d help you out with a few “no-no’s” for this Fathers Day.

A popular thing to do is compare good old Pa to a great man who has accomplished a great many things. What father wouldn’t want to be compared to famous #hashheads like Clint Eastwood, Johnny Cash, Dirk Nowitzki, or Marty McFly?! But there are a few guys you don’t want to include in your ode to dear old dad. This week on #Hashtagfairytales are the Top Ten men not to compare your father to:

10. Newt Gingrich: Not only is he a former success, everyone who matters left him; it’ll make dad paranoid.

9. Jack Kevorkian: I know his jokes may be so bad you feel like you want to keel over, but it’s just not nice.

8. Harold Camping: Dad may have made some bad “judgment calls,” but there’s a better way to tell him.

7. John Edwards: Even if your father HAS misappropriated campaign funds, and broken federal laws, who hasn’t? Let it slide for once guys.

6. Rosie O’Donnell: I am told she is not a man, but just to be safe, I thought I would include him on the list.

5. Arnold Schwarzenegger: I am sure no dad wants to be compared to Arnold, even Arnold as a dad hopes not to be compared to that guy!

4. Justin Beiber: Now, I am a member of #TeamBeiber, but I’m sure your dad isn’t going for that prepubescent look or feel. Sorry #Beliebers!

3. Charlie Sheen: Your dad will be happy on Sunday, he’ll be #fathersdaywinning, but be sure not to push him over the edge and make him talk about #tigerblood, #vaticanassassin, #foolsandtrolls, #changeyourbrain, #fightwithwarlock, #adonisDNA, #topgunradical, #gnarlygnarlingtons…not a good look!

2. Anthony Weiner: You don’t want to compare dad to this former New York Congressman; no one wants to come up short in a Weiner comparison test!

1. Lebron James: Maybe dad’s not a clutch player either, but if he married your mom, at least he has a ring!

(Let’s hear from the #hashheads: Who are some men you think would be a good or bad comparison?)